This was the 3rd time that Blondie and 'The Buik' visited this restaurant. The 1st time, we were trying to find somewhere local to eat and it was around 10pm at night. Which, being in Spain, you wouldnt have thought would be a problem. The Buik stayed in the car and I was sent off to scan the menu to see if there was anything that would hit the spot. I got told, by a rather charming member of staff, that the kitchen would be closing in 10 minutes - which in other words translated as 'We cant be arsed to serve you if you come in now so please do us a favour and eat elsewhere' - which, going off their menu 2 years ago, I was happy to do :)

So it was with reluctance that we ventured back there, firstly at Easter time of this year. We had heard that it had burned down a few months previous (we are not sure if this was at the hands of the Costa del Sol mafia, or if someone had got a little over zealous with the fryer) but I think it deserved another go. We went down there in the daytime as it was glorious weather - and Blondie was up for an olympic style lunch. As normal :)

The menu is bizarre. The climate in Marbella is from around March/April till end of September, warm by Northern European standards. Summers are sometimes unbearable, each year hotter and hotter and we avoid the month of August, where it gets invaded with unruly English and Italians who flock here for the heat. The menu is decidely British with fish and chips and home made burger featuring. Now I dont know about you, but the last thing I want to eat in 30 degree heat is a burger or fish and chips?!!!!!!!!

But on that particular day, I didnt mind eating a burger - as you can tell how good a restaurant is, by how well they can make a burger. It was a good enough, but there was too much meat to bread, which was rather irritating. Chips were good though :) The Buik had fish and chips and he didnt have much to complain about. Several mojitos later, we waddled out of there, fairly satisfied.

So it was with a fair amount of anticipation that we went back again the summer. We seemed to have exhausted all other restaurants in the 3 weeks we were down in Marbella again and as the Beach House is so close to our house down there, we thought we would give it another go.

We arrived at 10pm and got ushered through the restaurant that was packed, to a seating area where a young buck knocked up a mojito and something lairily coloured for 'The Buik'. Then we got ignored. In fact, it got to 10.30 and we just knew what was going to happen. When we would get discovered, we would be told that we couldnt eat 'As the kitchen is closed'. Well, the maitre d' eventually spied us growing more irritated by the second, and showed us to quite a cute table, just in front of Alan Sugar, no less. He looked like he'd been tucking into the red with gay abandon. I dont know what beauty regime his wife uses, but I'd like her secret. She is stunning :)

I started with Tempura prawns on a sesame seed salad with a coconut and sweet chilli sauce. That was really nice and fresh. You cant beat a fried prawn :) I cant remember what 'The Buik' had. Probably 2 Malboro lights and another lairy cocktail ;) Whatever it was, it wasnt special enough for me to remember anyway.
For main course I took 'Lobster, new potato, rocket and parmesan, salad, pesto dressing and asparagus hollandaise'. What a travesty to lobster that lot is. The lobster was incredibly juicy, and pefectly cooked. But there was absolutely NO need for the other parts to that dish. Rocket and parmesan salad is one dish. Pesto dressing belongs nowhere near anything else and asparagus and hollandaise sauce is a dish unto itself too. Whoever thought it was a good idea to lollop it all together on one plate needs a ruddy good slap. It didnt go at all. You almost start to get suspicious if a restaurant feels the need to fancify a lobster in the way that the Beach House did.
The Buik took fish and chips as he was feeling rather adventurous that night ;) and apart from the chips being arranged in a cube shape (which he hates) he agreed that the fish was better than we can cook at home, which irked and pleased me in equal measures.
We had a cracking bottle of white wine and some sort of dessert. Dont ask me what it was because my eyes went squiffy and we retired home shortly after.

All in all, I am not sure I'll be back. The service is chaotic and they paid far too much attention to Sir Alan Sugar. In my eyes, every client is the same, I dont want to be ignored because someone more famous is behind me. Why should I be ignored? We are all paying for the food at the end of the day!!!!!!